Teachbroeck

I have been a bit numb latetly. After I lost the baby in December I really thought 2007 would be a better year... guess I was wrong. Last Wednesday my beloved Grandfather died. Yes I was lucky to have him for 32 years, but it still breaks my heart. To picture my g'ma alone in that big memory-filled house. I gave a short ulogy at the funeral. I HATE speaking in front of people older that 15. My face turns redder than sin and I get twitchy. ON top of it all I had a case of bronchitis that almost put me in the hospital... but something inside me wanted to do it. To be the one to speak about one of the greatest men in my life. What an honor. So as I waited for the funeral to start I felt my sinuses clear and confidence swell within me. I was worried the words would be soggy with phlegm, but they weren't. Sure on the CD I will probably sound like the Grandson, but the words flowed out. I was calm and collect. I made eye contact and paused in all the right spots.

AS some of us grandchildren were browsing over photos from over the years, we noticed a trend…many of the pictures of grandpa holding one of us as toddlers or babies he isn’t looking at the camera he is looking at us… with such pride and love the picture brings you right back to the moment..here are some of our favorites.


· orange pop and sour cream and onion chips on Sunday car drives
· His abundant garden whose harvest were the staples of our family dinners Grandma’s cucumbers, tomatoes goulash and many more delishious fruits of his labor of love
although a time or two we did have to move the family dinners along especially on Thanksgiving there was football games to watch you know
tomato juice at breakfast
peanuts down in basement
running out for the paper or groceries
his lawn chair at most every sporting event
his chair at the head of our table
the smell of old spice


To say that xxxx xxxxx was a good Grandpa is an gross understatement. He was the epitome of the word. Gentle, loving, INVOLVED, encouraging, funny….. always making us feel important and special. Do you know how much confidence he instilled in us all? He left a legacy here. In these two rows….. is his future. One of the most important thing he taught the young boys in our family is how to be a loving husband or father, and for us girls what to look for in a potential husband and none of us will settle for less because of him. The best tribute we can give him is to honor and express the “grand” qualities his possessed and live in a way that will continue his essence and make him proud. In us all we all have the compassion he showed us and potential to make this world a better place Thank you Grandpa


And you know what....I didn't cry once. Not during the wake...not during the funeral...not during taps....not when I looked over and saw my sister's stone next to his. NOT ONCE. What is wrong with me. I want to cry. I want to be sad, because I am...is this self preservation?

Even though I had the SADDEST day of the year OFF, my weekend was shittay. My grandfather is going down hill. He still knows who I am so that is good, but I guess they started morphine on him today, and THAT is never good. I am 32 years old and the oldest of the grandchildren. Ia m so lucky to haso many memories of my sweet grandpa. Not only was he a great grandpa but I respect him so much for being a fantastic father to my mom and her siblings. MOslty of all, he is the epitomy of a husband. Even now in the middle of everything he calls my g'ma over just to hold er hand. I swore I should habe been my g'ma's daughter. We are so much a like. I am sure she wasn't always easy to please or live with but he is has such a strong fast love for her is makes my heart ache.
Then there was a fight right out of crazyworld with J-dog. There may or may not have been a plate of manacoti thrown. Sure I look back now and laugh and of course forgive, but every nasty fight leaves a little wrinkle on your heart.
And the best of all I finally purged myself of the negative feelings with my miscarriage and the my new nephew. Puhlease don't get me wrong I love him dearly and suppport J-dog's sister, but it got to me.. IT GO TO ME and fucking "A" that is okay. IT was hard watching my husband with his new nephew.... the first boy grandson...the first granchild at ALL for his mom. It sucked watching him play with all the baby paraphanlia and be so in AWE of everything...and the WORST the WORST is when people in town ( small town here people my MECHANIC took me in the ambulance last week!) tell my how much the baby looked like GUESS WHO?? MY HUSBAND!!! Because of course his sister hates Bbaby's dad so if you say he looks like him WATCH out....so after a couple Malibu's I got a little BITTER...and may or may not have said stuff like GUESS JDOG doesn't need a kid....and who cares if I HAVE a kid.
NOT MY BEST PERFORMANCE....but I feel lighter....I feel happier...I guess it had to come out...thanks liquor for helping a girl out.
THE END

Random posts...some with PHOTOS ...lucky you!

1. ADORE ADORE ADORE




2. I took an ambualnce ride to the HICK hospial in the ara...yha the kids at recess saw the whole thing..SAW..watch for updated post on the bizness!







3. These little babies won me



ALL THIS !!!!!!!













4.These pictures stink, but they are the BEFORE pictures for the bathroom, which J-dog is painting, which I love, but I almost put bronzer on with a paint brush this morning.

Hey RESOLUTION....yha YOU BEYACH....ME and my posse..we are gonna KICK your ASS!

I am 1 cm away from becoming an AUNT!!!!!!!!! J-dog's sister is about to give birth to Baby Brayden! She is young and it was unplanned, but everyone has been supporting her and I am SO PROUD! K-dog gets her first cousin...and I am becoming something I wasn't sure I would ever be...but that story is another story... I mean blog.

I did have a self-portrait of my excitement but it looked like I was taking a POOP..so yha we will skip the photo.

A car full of gifts ...$100.00
And OMG Ignore the HIDEOUS black bag. I was in a hurry and I thought the pink tapestry carry-on would be a bit much. Why is it K-dog has a ton of cute back-packs & back and I am digging this crap out from the 1980's closet?














2. A portable DVD player and the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants DVD 1$100.00
She is under her winter coat because the glare from the sun was too bright. I was driving down the road with a blob and a backwards hood.


Mommythought: I abhor overuse of playstation and gameboys...even Ipods seem to make kids anti-social, but the DVD in the car on long roadtrips.....ROCKS MY SANITY! I still remember mom or dad saying "Don't make me pull over!" It was right up there with the GLARE you got when you run into their heels with the grocery cart. K loves to read and chat so I really hate to show her the life of the GAMEBOY.



3. $30.00 bucks in gas.













4. Obligatory stop at FlapDonalds $5.00
( I am on a diet )














A night with my Ya-Ya's and the mini-ya-ya's

PRICELESS

I was watching the VIEW (settle down ..I happen to adore Rosie...and don't remember bashing anything on your site...well except once with GFF but that was an accident!) She has my sense of humor with the facial expressions and knocking people down to earth AND GUN CONTROL to protect the thousands of kids that shoot their siblings each year ((totally made that stat up but roll with it))
ANYHEW.....She was asking the other ladies on the panel from hell about how they were raised and if they ever FELT poor not knowing what white/blue collate meant. She then asked about some of the elites' houses they had all been to and what "Living High Society" meant to them. Finally, she told anecdote about visiting some rich lady and asking the doorman what apt. this wealthy woman lived in. The doorman replied, " You mean what floor?" Rosie thought everyone would aspire/dream of having that Penthouse or grandiose apartment...that was IT- the top of the line. My dear Rosie ( who I do love how she pauses at the right time in the favor of comedy) I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE .

View from the back door of my 30 yr old DREAM HOUSE

I am planning to donate my "TIRE" to Sears.
Happy New Year. 15 pounds is my dream, I iwll be happy with 10. In less than a year I have managed to go from a 10 to a 14. I blame one of my meds (which I miss dearly) and the free eating + no workouts while a was pregnant for 10 weeks didn't help much either. May the force be with all of you on your resolutions.

THIS could very well be my Christmas card next year.













Scavenger Hunt for one of the presents that didn't have batteries or hook up to a TV. (clue was in CD Box)

A few of my favorite pics from the HOOPLA AKA Christmas...
NOTE: J-Dog and I both has 2 sets of parents so we had many Christmases....I didn't want you to think Kdog wore the same shirt for 3 days.




Dear Sweet Grandpa. So glad you could come home for the day. Grandma misses you at home so much. I often wonder if this was your last Christmas here with us. The grandchildren all climbed on your bed as you opened gifts. We cherished evey minute of it.








Kdog with twin set #2














Santa still stops for us at Great G'ma's! Notice Kdog's coy look. This is the first yearshe didn't run!












K-dog's stash at Grandma # 4's house.
















Secret Santa gift. Way better than MY SS gift!

I have more but apparently UPLOADING pics is not Okay right now. (&*^*&((*)&^%%)