Today is 20 weeks...half way.
I got no sleep last night. I am convinced something is wrong...I am mind fucking myself that I am losing fluid and the baby is not growing. I saw a girl last night who is due 4 days before me. SHE WAS HUGE. OBVIOUSLY PREGNANT. People keep saying to me...you don't look pregnant! I am tall....wide hips...I never looked pregnant with KDog until 7 or 8 months...I have felt the baby moving...I have had 2 ultrasounds and everything was perfect....my anxiety is out of control. I toss and turn all night....my grandmother died Monday and I can't make the 8 hour drive in one day....I can't work out the details for K dog and myself and work. My family understands to drive 8 hours for an hour seems silly....but I FEEL SICK that I won't be there....usually when I make a decision I am at peace with it. Last night at K's Christmas program I accidently walked in front of a picture being taken (in a very crowded hallway) and some mom yelled I GUESS SOME PEOPLE JUST WANT TO BE IN THE PICTURE....I felt horrible ...I apologized....no big deal....I can't stop thinking about it....
gah....I have been looking forward to this ultrasound for weeks and now I have turned it into this miserable, dooming event. Is it the miscarriages? Is my anxiety/depression back? I hate that I can't be excited about this.
When I Said Slow...
16 years ago
I'm so sorry you are feeling that way! I'm SURE everything is just fine. You will get to that ultrasound and all of your fears will be put to rest.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmomther. :-( I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
THANK YOU BECCA!! It means alot...
i think it is typical fashion to have these fears and worries. i always seem to get worked up in between dr appts too. but i am sure everything is good, and i cant wait to check back to see if youve got a baby girl or baby boy! have fun!!!
xoxoxo,
Beebop
I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I think your feelings are normal considering all you've been through, but I am positive everything will be great!!
I'll be thinking about you and your family~
Pregnancy is a freaking roller coaster ride to begin with anyway. I'm sure after the ultrasound, things will calm down.
I am soo sorry to hear about your grandma, I know it is a hard thing to lose a loved one.
I hope your ultrasound goes well, and things are still growing good!! I am sure there is nothing to be worried about.
I know it can be tough going without sleep, and being worried about things, but it will get better and you will get through this time. I know you will!