I woke up and thought it was Friday! I had inservice M-W. Jdog stayed home Mon. to not make the first day back so stressful. Plus Baby J had impetigo...seems to be clearing up fine with the meds though. Tuesday was super busy with meetings..I did go up and see baby J at lunch (my temp. daycare is across the street from school) BIG MISTAKE. I mean he was fine but I wanted to take him. Being at home and being in a smaller apt. with two needy toddlers and 2 dogs is not the same. My heart hurt the whole half block back to school. I called Jdog and then cried into his voicemail. What a wimp.
Yesterday I had to stay at school til 6 for an open house...got home and felt like dinner, laundry, bottles, baths was just too much. I did it. but I knew I had today off. I feel like this is WRONG. Why have a baby and then have someone else spend 5 days a week with him? I am so lucky to have decent hours and holidays off, but I just feel different. I carry the insurance and of course there is the mortgage so there is no way I could stay home. We could maybe swing Jdog staying home but probably not and HE LOVES HIS JOB. Not all men can say that.
So I guess I just numb up, suck up and do the daily grind.
Here are some pics to distract you from my gloomy mood!
1. The bachlorette party I went to 2 weeks ago
2. the umm fruit sculpture hee hee
3. Baby J first attempt at cereal
4. A moment caught on film where Kdog wasn't pissed at me because I have rules! (a whole nother post!)
I wish i could stay at home with the kids too. But can't either ~ can't afford to :(
Your not alone in the way you feel.
The fruit sculpture is looking 'Fruity'!!!
Tee-Hee!
l,
Amanda x
God. I still feel the way you are feeling about staying home and now it's 2 years later!! I hate it everyday. You point about having a baby so someone else can watch them 5 days a week... so true... I don't understand why we do it either.
It's this society we live in. In my opinion our country puts very little value on "family". Did you know that in France maternity leave is more commonly 1 year paid... for both mommy and daddy! Why do we live here!?!?!?!
It may not get much easier to go to work every day... I've decided that it has just become tolerable. Because I have to do it too.
Nellie-it is sad...20 years ago Mothers were EXPECTED to stay home, I am all for woring I love my job, but the fact that I can't afford to choose to stay home for a year or two pisses me off. Yes we could sell our house and live in an apt with no insurance, but I think I should be able to stay home and provide a nice life for my family! We work our asses off to pay for this house...no fed aid, no wic nothing check by check...I guess we made the choice...life just seems so money driven!
You'll probably get used to your new routine after a few days...I never did when I returned to work after Lila was born, but everyone kept telling me I would. I did tough it out for one school year, and then we figured some things out so I could stay home. I know not everyone can do that though, so I hope you come to a point very soon where you feel better about the new situation.